May 27, 2009

Happiness

I have been running behind happiness for quite some time now. Somehow since the end of last year, things haven't been that great. There have been times when I have really given up, tired of fighting, wishing, waiting and most of all hoping for things to get okay.

I even tried not to dwell on things but couldn't stop myself from thinking too much. As a result I became really stressed out. I can't sleep properly at night, don't enjoy the things I liked doing as much.

Two weeks ago I kind of gave up. Then I realized maybe I am just trying too hard. I need to make a conscious effort to stop myself from thinking and wishing and waiting.
I hate waiting and its really tough for me to wait. Patience is not one of my highest virtues either. I wasn't happy, just restless and sad all the time. Yet it wasn't until last sunday that I decided I was loosing myself and need to do something fast. I was just falling in a hole of despair and sorrow, and it was having a huge effect on even my interactions with my loved ones.

I decided I need to stop thinking and wishing and waiting. I need to accept what I have now and be content with it. Stop running after what I had and what's slipping away. If I can't enjoy my old interests as much then I need to develop new ones and get started.

I started blogging again. I was never really big on it and really started to distract myself from my problems this time around.
The sunday that just passed brought me some hope and happiness. Today I got another teeny weeny bit of hopefully good news. My battles are still on, I haven't won but I am not loosing either anymore.

Happiness is returning, and not because I stopped running after it but because I discovered that it always was there, only I wasn't able to see it.

3 comments:

  1. Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Aziz, yes that's very true.

    ReplyDelete